Today I turn 40, an age I never really considered. As a child I imagined 30 as the pinnacle of life, but now what? This past weekend a very dear friend asked me, “What is your intention for this year, the 41st year of your life?” My brows crossed, a little put off....I dawdled. Isn’t there enough on my plate? She didn’t let me off the hook.
In college I studied anthropology and went on to law school and practiced law for about 10 years. After marriage, a very difficult pregnancy, and my first premature birth; I decided not to go back to work. My two pound baby needed me; my life's purpose shifted. It was an obvious and easy decision. To be honest, I was looking forward to “taking it easy” for a little while. Ha! I had no idea the path of motherhood would be so challenging, demanding,....devoted.
So over the course of the weekend, after some more wine, more questioning, and lessening inhibitions; I admitted “out loud” that I wanted to write and somehow get involved with journalism. I am apprehensive. I’ve always believed that I wasn’t good enough. I am too critical, analytical, and afraid of failure. I don’t know the rules. I’m not that creative or clever, and forget about correct grammar. But you know, I have a lot going on in my head. Things that I would like to share with you in hopes of understanding myself and the world around me a little better. This time I am not going to let fear paralyze me. So I committed to taking an hour a week for the next nine months to blog in the ethereal world of cyberspace.
I am starting with what I know:
In college I studied anthropology and went on to law school and practiced law for about 10 years. After marriage, a very difficult pregnancy, and my first premature birth; I decided not to go back to work. My two pound baby needed me; my life's purpose shifted. It was an obvious and easy decision. To be honest, I was looking forward to “taking it easy” for a little while. Ha! I had no idea the path of motherhood would be so challenging, demanding,....devoted.
So over the course of the weekend, after some more wine, more questioning, and lessening inhibitions; I admitted “out loud” that I wanted to write and somehow get involved with journalism. I am apprehensive. I’ve always believed that I wasn’t good enough. I am too critical, analytical, and afraid of failure. I don’t know the rules. I’m not that creative or clever, and forget about correct grammar. But you know, I have a lot going on in my head. Things that I would like to share with you in hopes of understanding myself and the world around me a little better. This time I am not going to let fear paralyze me. So I committed to taking an hour a week for the next nine months to blog in the ethereal world of cyberspace.
I am starting with what I know:
"Anthropology" is the broad scientific study of human culture, society, evolution, history, psychology, biology and much more....through space and time.
"Motherhood" is trying to understand it all through the lives of little human beings who run around playing, laughing, crying, screaming, whining, smiling, and sweetly loving. It is hard, beyond hard.
You may have heard of the “reasonable man standard” in law and anthropology. This "standard" always gave me a chuckle because, really, we should be honoring “the reasonable woman” or more notably in my world.....“the reasonable mom.” So what is it to be a “mommy” today? Journey with me next week.
Thank you Steph, for not letting me off the hook.
You may have heard of the “reasonable man standard” in law and anthropology. This "standard" always gave me a chuckle because, really, we should be honoring “the reasonable woman” or more notably in my world.....“the reasonable mom.” So what is it to be a “mommy” today? Journey with me next week.
Thank you Steph, for not letting me off the hook.
I'm so, SO proud of you!
ReplyDeleteLove,
S
Yes! You always amaze me and I feel privileged to witness your journey! Way to go on your commitment to write about motherhood and beyond! You rock:-)
ReplyDeleteShampa, I cried, with a sens of deep pride. You are so honest and so thoughtful about your own self. I would love to be a part of your journey in self discovery. And your writing skills are just fine. Mom
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