For the first time I’m tackling questions about our little nuclear family’s “religious” place in society. My children have been quite curious about “Christmas” this year. My three year old basks in the glow of the shimmering lights and beautiful decorations. Everywhere we go, I hear, “Mama! there’s Christmas!,” as he points to a sparkly tree in Target. My oldest, however, has been asking more pointed questions like: “Who is Jesus Christ?” and “Why doesn’t Santa give us presents?” My husband grew up Jewish, I grew up Hindu -- so what is our family of “Hinjews” to do?
As a child I went to temple and participated in Pujas (Hindu religious ceremonies); but I was never formally taught the basics of Hindu philosophy. There was no Sunday school, or initiation ceremony -- I am “born” a Hindu, religion is a social and cultural experience. My spiritual identity was complicated by the fact that I went to Catholic school between 3rd and 8th grade. It was there I learned my final destination was Hell, because I was not baptised a Christian. As a child, this struck me as simply ridiculous. I spent time in class pondering: “Why would God smite me if I were a good person?,” “What did it matter that we pray to Durga instead of Jesus Christ?,” “Shouldn't God accept every person if they are good, flaws in all?”
In answering some of my son’s questions, my husband explained the basic views Christians and Jews hold regarding Jesus, Santa,... and Christmas. NB quietly digested the information, but surprisingly didn’t follow-up with: “What do you believe?” We know these questions are coming and strive to teach our kids to be non-judgmental and accepting of all theologies. We mingle our scientific and philosophical views into our lives without preaching about any particular “best” or “right” way...even if it may be controversial. Sounds...reasonable, but it is missing something -- ritual.
The cultivation of ritual in our society is important because it helps people connect with each other. Through ritual, we become familiar with current cultural mores and social conduct. By using symbolic words, objects, or actions, we teach our children what is meaningful to us. In full disclosure, I should tell you that sometime around 2nd or 3rd grade, I begged my parents to get a Christmas tree. With that, our secular celebration of Christmas was born -- tree, lights, presents, and all. No religion, just ritual.
Witnessing all the Christmas cheer these past few weeks, I admit, I miss the pagentry of it. Christmas has inspired some of the best songs, movies, goodness, and charity in Americans -- raising money to fight famine in Africa, AIDS/cancer research, food for homelessness, and countless other charitable causes. Every time I hear Band Aid’s “Do they know it’s Christmas time at all,” I want to sing at top of my lungs,...embarrassing. There’s Lennon’s “Give Peace a Chance,” McCartney’s “A Wonderful Christmas Time,” even “Let it Snow,” and “Santa’s coming to town” -- all versions make me smile. Who can forget the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life” -- reminding us that family and friends are the most important gifts of the season. Over time, Christmas has inspired the most giving for truly worthy causes. Of course other religions have charitable giving, but it just isn’t as well advertised.
So back to “ritual.” Most winter religious holidays revolve around the solstice, -- during the darkest days, celebrated with...“light.” Hanukah is symbolized by a candelabra, the menorah, celebrating a lighting miracle; when one night’s worth of oil lit candles for eight days. The Hindu Sankranti also historically took place on the Solstice. Overtime, however, the date shifted a bit over the years and is now celebrated on January 14th. Gifts are exchanged, sweets and other special food are consumed, and bonfires are lit on Sankranti eve, known as Lohari. It is believed that people who die on this day are very lucky because it ends their reincarnation cycle -- a path to spiritual enlightenment.
Although we will always continue to participate in our childhood religious traditions; I am considering new rituals for our family this year, borrowing from the worlds best. “Light” being elemental, primitive, and fundamental. Instead of trying to de-emphasize Christmas, I plan bring it into the fold -- in a minimalist sort of way. Candles lit for Hanukah, blue ornaments on our deconstructed, metal, modern “tree.” Singing songs, watching Charlie Brown’s Christmas, and exchanging a few gifts. The celebration will continue into January where I plan to light a fire in our fire pit to brings us luck in the New Year for Sankranti. The Hinjew holiday has begun! Happy New Year! I continue the journey in 2012.
As a child I went to temple and participated in Pujas (Hindu religious ceremonies); but I was never formally taught the basics of Hindu philosophy. There was no Sunday school, or initiation ceremony -- I am “born” a Hindu, religion is a social and cultural experience. My spiritual identity was complicated by the fact that I went to Catholic school between 3rd and 8th grade. It was there I learned my final destination was Hell, because I was not baptised a Christian. As a child, this struck me as simply ridiculous. I spent time in class pondering: “Why would God smite me if I were a good person?,” “What did it matter that we pray to Durga instead of Jesus Christ?,” “Shouldn't God accept every person if they are good, flaws in all?”
In answering some of my son’s questions, my husband explained the basic views Christians and Jews hold regarding Jesus, Santa,... and Christmas. NB quietly digested the information, but surprisingly didn’t follow-up with: “What do you believe?” We know these questions are coming and strive to teach our kids to be non-judgmental and accepting of all theologies. We mingle our scientific and philosophical views into our lives without preaching about any particular “best” or “right” way...even if it may be controversial. Sounds...reasonable, but it is missing something -- ritual.
The cultivation of ritual in our society is important because it helps people connect with each other. Through ritual, we become familiar with current cultural mores and social conduct. By using symbolic words, objects, or actions, we teach our children what is meaningful to us. In full disclosure, I should tell you that sometime around 2nd or 3rd grade, I begged my parents to get a Christmas tree. With that, our secular celebration of Christmas was born -- tree, lights, presents, and all. No religion, just ritual.
Witnessing all the Christmas cheer these past few weeks, I admit, I miss the pagentry of it. Christmas has inspired some of the best songs, movies, goodness, and charity in Americans -- raising money to fight famine in Africa, AIDS/cancer research, food for homelessness, and countless other charitable causes. Every time I hear Band Aid’s “Do they know it’s Christmas time at all,” I want to sing at top of my lungs,...embarrassing. There’s Lennon’s “Give Peace a Chance,” McCartney’s “A Wonderful Christmas Time,” even “Let it Snow,” and “Santa’s coming to town” -- all versions make me smile. Who can forget the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life” -- reminding us that family and friends are the most important gifts of the season. Over time, Christmas has inspired the most giving for truly worthy causes. Of course other religions have charitable giving, but it just isn’t as well advertised.
So back to “ritual.” Most winter religious holidays revolve around the solstice, -- during the darkest days, celebrated with...“light.” Hanukah is symbolized by a candelabra, the menorah, celebrating a lighting miracle; when one night’s worth of oil lit candles for eight days. The Hindu Sankranti also historically took place on the Solstice. Overtime, however, the date shifted a bit over the years and is now celebrated on January 14th. Gifts are exchanged, sweets and other special food are consumed, and bonfires are lit on Sankranti eve, known as Lohari. It is believed that people who die on this day are very lucky because it ends their reincarnation cycle -- a path to spiritual enlightenment.
Although we will always continue to participate in our childhood religious traditions; I am considering new rituals for our family this year, borrowing from the worlds best. “Light” being elemental, primitive, and fundamental. Instead of trying to de-emphasize Christmas, I plan bring it into the fold -- in a minimalist sort of way. Candles lit for Hanukah, blue ornaments on our deconstructed, metal, modern “tree.” Singing songs, watching Charlie Brown’s Christmas, and exchanging a few gifts. The celebration will continue into January where I plan to light a fire in our fire pit to brings us luck in the New Year for Sankranti. The Hinjew holiday has begun! Happy New Year! I continue the journey in 2012.
Thanks for another wonderful post! As an interfaith family, we, too, wonder what are the best traditions to impart on our children. And, yes, our gameplan changes every year! The nice thing is that most big holidays emphasize the same things: kindness to others, giving back to your community and FAMILY...all while getting us into the holiday spirit. Can't beat that!
ReplyDeleteReally great idea for your holiday family tradition!!
ReplyDelete